The Courtship

Hi everybody, this is Jared talking... Alisa wanted me to sit down one day and write a little bit about how our courtship was in my point of view. So I figured, why not kill 2 birds with 1 stone and put it up on the blog. So for those of you who care to read it, be my guest. And if you don't care about it. Well... we love ya any way.


Ok, so my part of the story starts just around the merry 'ol month of January 2008. I was feeling kind of hopeless about dating. Apparently, I wasn't doing so well in that area I guess. But to fill up all my free time, I would play the drums, and guitar and write little songs that I felt like writing. Occastionally, I would get my friends together and I would play my songs for them. It was fun, and it was a chance for me to show off. Maybe someday, Alisa will put a little video of me playing the drums on this little blog here.

So just around early January, I was getting my friends together, and telling them to bring their friends and other people to come and see me play. It was really cool, because I ended up getting just under fifty people to come and watch me play. Before I started playing, I would have a friend or two play a few songs on the guitar just to warm up the crowd as more and more people would arrive to watch me. While one of the "openers" was playing, I heard the doorbell ring, and I went upstairs to answer it. When I opened the door, my friends Lukas and Stuart were there, each with a girl next to them. Lukas had brought his wife Casey, and Stuart was standing next to Alisa. I noticed how pretty she was right from the start, and I quickly thoght to myself, "Wow, I hope she's not dating Stuart."

So I invited them in, and they watched me play. Because Alisa had caught my attention all night, I went to hang out with her and Lukas and Stuart and Casey and Emily. I really just wanted a chance to get to talk to Alisa and get to know her. So in my desperate attempts to talk to her just a bit, I thought it would be best just to go and hang out with her. When we arrived and Lukas and Casey's, we played a few games, and we all had fun. Emily drove me there, and by the time she left, she made arrangements for Alisa to drive me back home. I guess I owe all of them a little bit of thanks for their help that night. But in any event, Alisa was too great to go unnoticed any way. We had a fun little converstation in the car and when she dropped me off, I was too afraid to ask for her number. I figured that I'd probably see her again though. Fortunately, Alisa took the initiative and said we should hang out. So I "mann'd up" and got her number.

Now I had the impression that Alisa was too much of a lady to call me or text me first, so I knew that I had the be a man and find some good excuse to call her or at least text her. In the next few days we settled on going on a date on Monday night (my only day off besides Sunday). When I picked her up, she looked really pretty and her Mom wanted to talk to me, but Alisa wouldn't let her. I thought that was funny. But we went to Fat Cat's to play a few games of pool. I thought it would be a fun chance for us to talk and relax a little bit. I was quickly impressed about how much we got along, and much fun I was having. I really hadn't ever had that much fun on a date before.

After a few games of pool we went to eat at Burger Supreeme, and we were having such a good time that we started to drive around aimlessly. Neither one of us wanted the date to be over, and so we went around town until we randomly decided to hike the Y mountian in the middle of a cold January night. We only made it to the third or forth look out point, because we were slipping all the way up. So when we got there, we sat on a frozen bench and talked until about 2 in the morning. I really wouldn't do that on a first date with anybody else, but we had such great chemestry, and really enjoyed each other's company. But the night did have to end, so I drove her home.

I really couldn't stop thinking about her all day, and it was exciting and great for me. I used any excuse I could to talk to her or to text her, without seeming desperate or stupid. But things just kept getting better and better. I really liked her, to a shocking point. We kept going out and staying up later than we should, but we really couldn't get enough of each other. It's funny for me to look back and think about times when I was scared to hold her hand, or really nervous about putting my arm around her during a movie. And the first kiss was scary, but really funny.

We'd both been working up to it, and I didn't want to rush it on her, but when I finally got up the guts to do it, I was kind of dumfounded and I didn't know what to say afterwards, so there was a good 5 or 6 seconds of awkward silence, until she started to laugh.. I'll never forget that my wife laughed at me after I kissed her the first time.

I think the next big land-mark was Valentine's Day. We'd planned a great little evening at her Mom's and I had written a song for her, so I brought my guitar. Alisa wants me to mention that it was our 1 month anniverasary of our first date... just so you know. Any way, she decorated the basement with all these pretty white christmas lights, and it was really cute and I couldn't believe it. Maybe all the girls I dated before were mentally challenged or something, but it was the first time I had a girlfriend who ever really did anything for me like that. I was shocked and happy.

Even though all of this stuff was great, it's not what made that night special. We started talking and talking and talking (like we were used to), but we were connecting on such deeper levels like we'd never done before. And for the first time in my life, I thought I was staring at the girl I was going to marry. I'll never forget that feeling - it was like having a million things to say but not being able to say one of them at the same time. I was trying to tell her that I was starting to fall in love with her, and that I was starting to feel like she was the one I was going to marry-- like all the stupid superficial dates were finally over and that I didn't ever have to go around looking for dates and handing out my phone number like an idiot. All I could do was just look at her and smile. Finally I opened my mouth and looked at her and said, "Alisa... this could be the end." And then she looked right back at me and said, "This could be the beginning."

Every now and then she can "1-up" me pretty good.

Everything was going happy and great, but I started to get really sick with a nasty little fever just around the turn of February. And boy was it nasty. But I was really falling in love with Alisa so I never thought twice about going to see her, even when I was feeling terrible. I really felt bad one night, and I knew I should've stayed home, but I figured I was starting to get a little better, so I went to see her any way. I told myself that we'd only stay up until 8 at the latest, but we ended up staying together past midnight. I felt really bad by the time I went home. My parents looked at me for half a second and knew I was really sick, so they made me some soup and sent me to bed. I woke up the next morning feeling a few fever blisters start to pop in. All in all, I ended up with 11 fever blisters all over my lips. Needless to say, I was pretty embarrassed about the thought of even seeing Alisa. But she insisted to bring me hot soup and to stay with me. I couldn't believe she didn't dump my trash for being hideous, but she didn't. She stayed with me and helped me feel okay about being really ugly for a while. My brother in law told me that if she'd stay with me through that, then she was a keeper. Well he was right.

I think the blisters lasted about 2 weeks, but I did have to end up dropping my classes that semeseter. Kind of sad, but in the end I was able to spend more time with Alisa.

The first time I told her that I loved her was kind of a funny moment. I'm pretty sure it came after the blister thing... She and I had kind of hinted at it for a while, and one night after watching a movie at my parent's house, we started talking and we were feeling really happy and close, and so I just went for it. It was pretty lame though.. I said something like, "Maybe it's just the moment, or how late it is, but I really feel this right now I and want to tell you: I love you." (only it was worse than that). But.. as bad as that was, Alisa said nothing back. I felt like I was just floating in the air, waiting to hear something, but nope... not a sound. The second time I told her I loved her was better, but she still didn't say anything back. I think she said the time she did say it, her heart was beating really fast and she was really nervous. But yeah, at least we got past that awkwardness..

Things just moved fast with us, faster than I ever thought they could go. It was rediculous how close we were growing after such a short period of time. After about 4 months, I was saving up to buy an engagement ring but I still wasn't completly sure. I knew it was a big decision, and I was praying about it, every time I could, and I didn't feel like I was getting the kind of direction I needed to make that step. I knew I wanted to marry her, but that wasn't enough to satisfy me. But one night, Alisa and I were in my car and talking after a date. We were talking about our lives and experiences we'd had. She eventually mentioned that she was always a little bit sad that she wouldn't ever be able to see one of her siblings have a temple wedding, becasue she was the youngest. Then, somehow for some reason, it was like I was a missionary again and I could just see through a foggy window of her life, and what was coming. I didn't see any images or scenarious or anything, I could just feel it - I somehow knew that she was going to be so happy in her life, and the happiness and nervana she would experience would be so much better than I could ever be able to tell her. So like a missionary I tried to tell her what I felt I needed to, and then it hit me; I needed to know that as much as she did. I needed to know that we needed to be together, and we would have a happy life together. I needed to know that our individual lives needed to be molded together. And I told her that I knew... and she knew what I meant.

The craziest part of everything was the day I asked Alisa to marry me. It was a monday night, and it was June 16th. Alisa and I agreed that before anything happened, I needed to talk to her Dad. So that morning I went to buy the ring, and I bought it, and it was great and I was extreemly nervous and excited. Now, Alisa made it sound like I just needed to call her Dad and talk to him over the phone concerning the matter. Which actually was great for me because with my ugly work schedule, it would have made things really easy. So there I was, and I called him and spit something stupid out like, "Um... I love your daughter and we want to get married." I don't really remember, but I felt stupid doing it over the phone, and then he stopped me and said, "Are you really doing this over the phone?" and I paused for a few seconds and said, "yeah..." but eventually we agreed it would be better in person. So I drove by later on that afternoon and we talked, and he gave me his blessing. I still feel stupid when I think about it, but just for the record, Alisa really made me think that I just needed to do it over the phone. Her exact words, "Just give him a call." - I guess there was miscommunication, she wanted me to set it up over the phone. But at least we have one more funny story.

After a little while, we met up and I talked her into spending most of the day up in Provo Canyon. So we went up to some park up there, and we had a picnic during the late afternoon and sat around and talked. It was still kind of cold, so we cuddled up in a little blanket, but this one family just wouldn't get away from us, and I figured it wasn't the right moment. I had the ring in my pocket and I was so annoyed that we weren't all alone, so I finally said we should go somewhere else.

It was getting dark, and we found this tini little place with railroad tracks and a the provo river ran through it. We sat on a log right next to the river and talked. Above us the tree's made a little canopy and we could see the moonlight right through it. I thought this was the perfect moment. So I reached in my pocket and waited for the right time to go on one knee. But I couldn't do it. I was too scared, and my heart was pumping like a rabbit's. Alisa had know idea anything was going on, so she got up and started wandering aroung, and so we started walking on the tracks. She got scared after a bit and we went back under the tree canopy. We were cold so we hugged each other, and she started singing a song by Regina Spektor. We started dancing and then I thought again, "NOW, is the right time.. right NOW." and so I pulled the right out of my pocket and held it behind her back... and nothing. I couldn't do it.

Soon Alisa thought she heard something and she got scared and we went back to the car, and we re-located to a different park.

I think it was South Fork park, and we found a spot where we'd be left alone, and we laid down under the stars, and I thought to myself, "Jared, you're never gonna do it unless you DO IT NOW." So... I told her to look off to her left at a tree... I made sure she would look at it, and then I told her to close her eyes. I didn't trust her, so I tried to cover her eyes and put the ring where she could see it if she was looking at the tree at the same time. But... I ended up practically rolling over her and she started saying, "OUCH!!! GET OFF OF ME, YOU'RE HURTING ME!" Kind of in a playfull way that still says, "Move, that hurts." But eventually I pulled it off. I told her to open her eyes and look at the tree and she saw the ring. She had a look of complete shock and we hugged, and I asked her to be my wife and she said yes.

The rest is history in the making I guess. I sometimes think that we're pretty young in this great big world, and that we can be naieve sometimes, but we're together, and we're determined to make the best out of everything that comes our way. We're happy and we love each other. No matter what, nothing is going to change that.