words to live by, and archibald the fish.

I just finished reading "The Duggars: 20 and Counting!" today after starting it two days ago. Considering that it's easily been a year or more since I've gotten through an entire book, it's safe to say that this was a pretty easy read! It didn't hurt that I was very excited to read it, though. Those of you who are better readers than me could probably get through the entire book in a couple of hours... easy!

For those of you who don't know, this is a Christian family that has 18 kids (and another on the way.) They have a show on TLC called 18 Kids and Counting. They homeschool all of their kids and have raised all of them really well from what I can tell. I actually learned a lot from reading this book and thought I would share some of the things I want to remember for my future family. Here are some of the things I wrote down. I hope it may be of interest to some of you!

"Words to live by"

- Be careful what you're good at doing, because you'll probably do a lot of it.

- Be careful what you praise your children for doing, because they'll do a lot of it.

- Be careful what you criticize your children for doing, because they won't want to do it anymore.

Romans 13:8

Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.

(This was shared in relation to their belief that they should live debt-free -- including home mortgages.)

"When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world." - George Washington Carver

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

(They are strong believers in homeschooling and share this scripture in relation to it.)

A cross-reference for that scripture is Ephesians 6:4 --

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

and Deuteronomy 6:7 --

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

Some random things that Michelle specifically mentioned:

- She once had to get an x-ray after being in an accident to make sure that everything was okay internally, and the doctors discovered 5 or 6 undissolved prenatal vitamins in her stomach. (Ech!) Since then, she has taken the chewable kind. Also, she found out that she could avoid feeling nauseous from the prenatals if she took them after eating. And motion sickness wristbands helped her through morning sickness.

- She had some breast-feeding tips explaining how she keeps it from being too painful -- I thought it would be interesting to some of you, but I don't want to go past the "TMI" line, so if you want to know what she said, just send me an email. =)

- This may be TMI for some of you, so consider this a fair warning. She said that they have chosen to circumcise their boys 8 days after being born instead of immediately. This is found in Genesis 17:12. Apparently, there is less bleeding involved when you do this.

- Her advice for giving birth is to have your baby at the hospital, but make sure to get a doctor that is flexible and will allow you to walk around and do what you feel most comfortable doing. She also said that she doesn't take any medicine or get an epidural, as it can slow down the labor. She does take medicine after giving birth, however, to reduce after-birth cramps.

"Family Goals" that they borrowed from another family upon discovering them:

1. Always use soft words, even when you don't feel well.

2. Always display kind actions, even if you have been mistreated.

3. Show joyful attitudes even when no one is looking.

4. Have sincere motives with no thought of self-gain.

5. Think pure thoughts.

6. Always give a good report of others. Never tattle-tale unless physical harm will come to someone. Matthew 18.

7. Never raise a hand to hit.

8. Never raise a foot to kick.

9. Never raise an object to throw.

10. Never raise a voice to yell.

11. Never raise an eye to scowl.

12. Use one toy/activity at a time.

13. Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don't go to bed angry or guilty.)

14. J.O.Y. (Jesus first, others second, and yourself last.) Make serving your family a priority.

James 1:20

For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

(Shared to support their belief that allowing yourself, as a parent, to become angry with your children will not benefit yourself or your children.)

When you start to feel anger, lower your voice instead of raising it.

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Pray with children when they come to you for a heart-to-heart.

Some other interesting things they shared in the books were recipes -- including a recipe for homemade laundry soap and homemade baby wipes. If you want those recipes, send me an email. I might post them later, too. I think it would be fun just to try out!

Last but not least, I really liked the way they handled allowances. They paid their children according to the chores that they completed - 3 cents for each chore. At the end of each month, they would count up all of the money that the child earned and then 'deposit' it into each individual 'bank account' that they created for each child. Basically, they just kept track of how much money each child earned. Then, when one of the kids wanted to purchase something with the money they earned, they would tell their parents and together they would buy it and deduct the money from the child's 'bank account.' The reason they started doing this was because of all the ways their children started to lose the money they were given (in the laundry, in the couches, etc.) This way, no money was lost, and it taught their kids how banks worked and how to be smart with their money. Pretty smart, right?

Anyway, that's all I had to share about that. It's a lot of stuff, but I figure if it doesn't help any of you, at least I'll have it here to refer to in the future.

Also, our betta fish got very sick about a week and a half ago. He wouldn't eat and he just sat around at the bottom of his bowl. After a few days of adding aquarium salt and "Betta Revive" medicine to his bowl, he seems to be doing better and I have gotten him to eat food again recently. BUT. I think he got sick last time because he hopped out of his bowl when I was putting him back in after cleaning it. He got sick very soon after that, and I'm thinking it's because it stressed him out and made him susceptible to illnesses. Well, needless to say, I've stressed out every time that I've put him back in his bowl since then -- and today he hopped right out of his bowl for the second time. So, of course, I am very worried now that he is going to get even more sick or die since he is already in a not-so-grand condition. It all sounds very trivial to you guys, I'm sure, but bettas have so much personality that it's hard to not get attached to the little guys! I've decided I will only do partial water changes from now on until I can get him a tank to make it easier to pour him back in.

That little fetcher...